Do you Really Know exactly What’s Going On Between Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck? See more:

If such a thing as a “Bennifer-ologist” exists, I’d like to think I’d be vaguely qualified for the role. I have, after all, written what must number in the dozens (but feels more like hundreds) of articles about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez’s relationship over the past three years—and, not for nothing, I got my hands on a bottle of J.Lo’s signature fragrance Glow before any of my friends did in 2002.

Still, despite all these qualifications, when I heard that the embattled couple had been seen kissing and holding hands during brunch (arguably the most significant meal of heterosexual courtship) at the Beverly Hills Hotel’s Polo Lounge amid their recently announced divorce, I had to admit it…I was stumped. Will I, or anyone else, ever figure these two out?

To be fair, there’s been a lot of Bennifer drama to keep up with this summer, from Lopez getting her Nancy Meyers movie on in the Hamptons, to Affleck’s sad-hot-single-dad faux-hawk, to Lopez queening out with fellow Affleck ex Jennifer Garner (and Affleck bestie Matt Damon, for that matter). And honestly, as difficult as it can be to stay on top it all, I’m sort of obsessed with the lack of narrative coherence. Who says you can’t make out after a divorce? And, for that matter, why not seat your kids separately at the Polo Lounge so you can rekindle the flame? (To be clear, I actually am in support of this; what teen wants to sit with their parents at brunch, even if their parents happen to be the stars of Gigli?)
People magazine claims that the Affleck-Lopez divorce is still moving forward, and at the risk of implying that basically all celebrity gossip is essentially fake…I have to wonder if any of us would really know if the divorce weren’t moving forward, “exclusive source” be damned. Whether together or apart, Affleck and Lopez have been conducting their love lives in public for over two decades now, and I feel like they’re playing three-dimensional chess. Is it time to consider the possibility that we know only what these two crafty celebrity innovators want us to? Or were they simply so overcome with lust for one another that they had no choice but to get the round-three relationship rumors flying? Either way, I’m seated.